Monthly Archives: February 2012

Ninja versus Pirate featuring Zombies (How to end Human Suffering #1), James Marshall


Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring ZombiesNinja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies by James Marshall

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

So this book “Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies” by J. Marshall starts off like its title with a neverending scentence… upon reviewal of which one can guess upon the weirdness of this book immidiately….

Guy Boy Man is the Self Appointed saviour of the world from Human Suffering. He sees Zombies eveywhere and those who become their food.

He wants to start small by taking out the Principal of his high school first. There is an odd love story, odd characters and many odd details, that rectify this book being published by ChiZine (Motto: Embrace the ODD).

Where to start? Since I am not done the book (which I was (un)-fortunate enough to receive for review from NetGalley)as I needed to take a breather, let me start with the impression so far (I am on page 81 and the author just described a (fictional, I hope) school shooting in which he attacks the other side (whether he’s on the good side or the bad is unclear to all, him included)by taking cover behind a wheelchair bound girl who he has strapped thick books in front so that she (or as he so nicely describes -most importantly him)won’t get hit by the attacking “disturbed zombie teenagers'” bullets, but whose head gets shot away due to the fact that it was not protected by thick books… anyhow, if after description of this scene I can bring myself to attempt finishing this book just to find out if there is a deeper sense to it or if it is just a fiction written by a drug addled brain to appear like a Quentin Tarantino movie in a novel or by an individual with both schizophrenic and slightly authistic tendencies(boy does he like to play on words by trying to explain why some expressions could have a double meaning and then harp on the meaning he was implying…) with an affinity to Monty Python-esque humor…

So let’s start again. Maybe opposits is a good beginning. The book has neverending scentences with more than their share of objects, subjects, adjectives and adverbs on one hand and short staccato ones without the one or the other of the afore mentioned elements on the other hand.

It is extreme and outragous and the next minute narrow minded.

It is shallow and deep.

It is communist and liberal and fashist and conservative all in one…

It is racist and then it isn’t…

It is extremely offending… no opposite to this I could discerne yet!

It is either madness or genius… I lean towards the first. But then -as they say- those two often go hand in hand!

Disturbingly, I find myself thinking that it would in parts be incredible to give it to a bunch of bright Highschool students for interpretation but then fear that if they prove not to be bright enough that the Highschool students would take this highly symbolistic and metaphorical (so I hope!!!) writing literal and adopt the expressed ideas and worse yet act on them…

The full review might follow…(Pause)

Ok, so I finished the book that ends in the middle of a no ending threatening with a part two… this a series?!? When I want to recommend to never publish this book!!! Yep, the series is called “How to End Human Suffering”.

On my way home on this 28th day of February I hear about yet another school shooting where the third victim has just passed away…

I do not want to even quote the parts of the book that are seeing our delusional, schizophrenic main character -who is telling this story from his perspective- open fire in the hallway of a decrepid high school on what he sees as zombie teenagers…

I puzzled for hours trying to find the symbolism, struggled to the end of the book to receive more hints as to how to interpret the storyline in a favourable light, one perhaps with a message… and failed. I don’t know if I failed to receive the message or if it wasn’t delivered or maybe it was delivered to somewhere else and we failed to cross paths and thus my non-understanding of this piece of work (although it is questionable if it even qualifies as work or is just the ramblings of a maniac mind, maybe a piece of work himself). And if you thought that was a strange scentence then you just got a (really good, I think) example of the kind of writing you will find in this book if it ever gets published.

You know how they put warning signs on cigarette packages? How movies are rated etc. This book needs a few of those warnings in bold big bright red letters!!!

Of course I realize that writing negatively about a book on goodreads has in the past led to larger publicity for said book because it implies in-famousness- that’s what this book should be: non-famous (the true meaning of infamous, in this case anyways). That’s what reverse psychology as a strategy does. And if this book is an exercise in reverse psychology, then it is excellent at that. But to those who don’t react reverse to this psychology an explanation needs to be given in form of a warning not to take everything they read at face value, not to attempt any of it at home (or school or anywhere in fact)or a legend (like the one on maps, not like a story told about some occurance or a person that became legend)that explains the symbolism or something like that.(Again this writing in brackets is something that would be done in the book; maybe the book is infected with a virus that makes Zombies into non-Zombies and thus undead… sheesh, I’m infected!!!!) And it should not be given to anyone younger than 18 years of age -possibly older. Maybe you have to be more of a Zombie to get it without wanting to go out to kill and save the world from human suffering…

Also, the -on goodreads- with this book associated author James Marshall isn’t truly the one who wrote this book, seeing that he is a) a true children’s book author and b) passed away in 1992. The author of this book according to NetGalley is much younger and lives in BC. Has published short stories etc. in the early years of the 21st century.

In summary: If you are ready for a brain teasing fantasy with above mentioned tendencies to make you laugh (which many people do when they get scared due to an increase in adrenaline, which I think this book stimulates just as it stimulates the gag reflex occasionally)like a cross between a Monty Python movie and (due to drugs, blood, sex and strangely used references to the Bible) a Quentin Tarantino flick… go for it! If it gets published… and you are old and/or intelligent enough to digest it’s contents (not by eating it, of course, but metaphorically speaking).

Authors web site:…

review published on:

View all my reviews


White Witch, Trish Melburn (Coven #1)


White WitchWhite Witch by Trish Milburn

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

White Witch by Trish Melburn is a captivating story of a young witch, Jax, who has left her coven of black witches, that has a long time ago sworn revenge on the humans that burned them, to start a new life.

She comes to a small town, unawares that it’s a hotbed of paranormal activity due to a spring of witch force seeping… she only wants a normal life, finds her best friend, Tina; a love interest who maybe shouldn’t be (due to the fact that he’s hunting “her Kind”), Keller; and a nemesis (other than her controlling family that is bound to catch her back, as no one leaves the coven unpunished), Stacey; and is shortly joined by a fellow deserter witch, Egan.

Sounds very fast paced? It is indeed! Sometimes so much so, especially towards the end, as if the author couldn’t wait to finish the book asap. Maybe more needn’t be told, but the writing still seems in places rushed, almost incomplete…

The ending is unexpected; as a lot of YA stories deliver the anticipated Happy Ending this one delivers something else and despite or maybe because of the rush one is left hoping for a second part to the story. And isn’t that a good sign?!

I love the characters, the take on witches and the story line enough too recommend it. The language and the way it is so appropriate and up to date for YA’s makes it highly recommendable.

Thanks to NetGalley for a preview of this book, will be published March 2012.

Smaragdgruen, Kerstin Gier (Edelstein Trilogy #3)


Smaragdgrün (Edelstein-Trilogie #3)Smaragdgrün by Kerstin Gier

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Well, I was so happy to have this third and final book of the series handy when I was done with Saphirblau…

Travelling back and forth in time because every time traveller has a contingent of time they have to pass in the past every day, so as to not be catapulted back in time uncontrolled, makes for busy days for Gwendolyn (or in the Engish version Gwyneth and yes, I still don’t like the fact that this one name is different. What’s wrong with Gwendolyn?…). Her relationship with Gideon intensifies…a cute little ghost demon is her almost steady companion in the present time as is her best friend Leslie, who has found her admirer in Raphael, Gideons younger brother. Not only does the time travel get more and more complicated , the plot thickens around what the chronograph will do when all twelve time travelers blood has been read into it and what the Count Saint Germain has planned… the twists and turns keep you holding onto your seat and the final reveal comes as a great surprise… no, I had not suspected this person at all… YOU’LL LOVE IT!!!

Sooooo recommended!!!

Saphier Blau, Kerstin Gier (Edelstein Trilogy #2)


Saphirblau (Edelstein-Trilogie #2)Saphirblau by Kerstin Gier

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

So, I couldn’t wait until this was translated into English. Saphire Blue will only be released in March from what I understand.

Anyhow, the time travel is continueing and the potential impact of time travelers and their actions in the past on the future becomes more confusing and clear at the same time. If someone gets send closer in time one day and further back the next they can potentially tell people they meet when they are going to meet them in the past which for one of them is already over and for the other one yet to come upon their next time travel tomorrow…. you see what I am saying clear as motzah ball broth!

The plot around the chronograph and its function thickens. The relationship between Gideon (and yes, in German her name is Gwendolyn- why anyone would change the main character’s name in a translation is beyond me) and Gwyneth, Charlotte and their fellow time travelers and all of their involvement becomes more and more complex and the open end leaves you hanging on a cliff…

I am just glad that the third part ‘Smaragd Gruen’ is available to me right away or I would have thown the book through the room… so be forewarned to have the trilogy complete before you start reading, unless you are a friend of torturous suspense…

Still two thumbs way up!!!

View all my reviews

Ruby Red, Kerstin Gier (Edelstein Trilogy #1)


Ruby RedRuby Red by Kerstin Gier

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This first installment of the “Liebe geht durch alle Zeiten” series by Kerstin Gier will just transport you… maybe not back in time, but pretty close!

I am so upset, that I don’t have books two and three yet, that I looked them up in German to get them for my ereader. (I just hope they didn’t change the names etc.)

What a ride: Gwyneth is this average girl, with average friends (except Lesley, who seems to be true best friend material and smart to boot), born into a family with an erratic time travel gene. Not everyone inherits it and no bloodtest can proof it and it only activates time travel in teenage hood…Following a prediction Gwyneth’s cousin has been primed for timetravel since birth, to be ready for all times. Turns out it isn’t her who inherited the gene, but Gwyneth…From the first time she is transported uncontrolled back in time to the moment when she gets help from a secret organization everyone in her family seemed to know about -except for her who needed it most- that helps her direct the time travel with a chronograph… throw in a great looking fellow time traveller,Gideon, and you have an awesome book…

Maybe I am a little surprised how fast Gideon took to Gwyneth…but then again why waste time on minor details…

I cannot wait to read book 2 and 3

Highly recommended!!!

View all my reviews

Surrender (Haunting Emma #3), Lee Nichols


Surrender  (Haunting Emma, #3)Surrender by Lee Nichols

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In this third and final installment of the Haunting Emma series all the open ends that were left at the end of the second book are tied up. It is the final leg in the fight against Neos, the ghost of all ghosts, that has been haunting Emma since she was a young child.

All previously opened story lines are finely woven to complete this story’s tapestry… it is multilayered, full of emotions and action, gripping; And just like it was imperative to have books two and three at hand after finishing the first book, it is a perfect ending for this trilogy.

You know those books, where you hop on board and don’t want to get off, and when it comes to a halt you just sit there for a while to reminisce…

Absolutely recommended for content, language, humor, appropriateness and so much more…

Enjoy the ride!

View all my reviews

Betrayal (Haunting Emma #2)


Betrayal (Haunting Emma, #2)Betrayal by Lee Nichols

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

So, I was happy that I had book two right on hand when I finished book 1, but now I am a little upset that I didn’t have part 3 handy. You ask why: Well, this middle part gets only three stars as you may notice, as it is a little bit of a lead up to… something! and the something isn’t in this book. Neither has the relationship between Emma and Bennett reached a conclusion, nor is it clear what extend Emma’s abilities will play in the end. Popping up of characters we thought lost in book one remains rather cryptic, as sometimes the line between what (and who) is real are blurred and we don’t really know if Emma gets visited by ghosts or real people and if those real people are themselves or posessed, so we are left with lots of open ends and I really recommend to have book 3 on hand to continue reading immidiately.

You know those series that would be better of all written in one big book? This appears to be one of them… but alas, as you may notice I want to keep reading, so a good book obviously!

View all my reviews